You.
Right now, in this quiet room, receiving my words—my irreplaceable, precious you.
What I am about to tell you is a confidential secret, shared with no one else, written as if shaving away my very life just for you.
Please, bring your beautiful ear close, right next to my lips.
This is a single love letter, written by devoting my everything, just to gently lean into your loneliness, your solitude, and your sadness.
On the Miracle Named a Single Painting, Shining Within the Darkness
I know the number of tears you have shed up until now.
I know there were nights you trembled in the cold winds of the world, trapped in a loneliness that no one else could understand.
Why are we so clumsy at living, and so easily hurt?
Allow me to tell you the story of a peculiar painter, whose work quietly embraces that wordless pain in your heart just as it is.
“The human mind has a tendency to reject what it does not understand.”
—Albert Einstein
The painter’s name is Georges Rouault.
Born into a very poor family in France, he worked as a stained-glass apprentice while desperately studying painting late into the night.
At first glance, his paintings appear thick and muddy, enclosed by heavy, pitch-black lines; they are far from what anyone would call glamorous.
And yet, from the depths of the canvas, a solemn, profound light overflows, like the morning sun filtering through a church window.
Why do his depictions of Christ and sorrowful clowns tighten our chests so deeply, and ultimately save us?
Rouault rejected the glitzy social circles of Paris, choosing instead to gaze intently at the “suffering” and “salvation” found at the bottom of the human heart.
He believed himself to be the spokesperson for those living on the fringes of society, for those who were wounded.
Standing before his paintings, we feel a strange sensation, as if the loneliness we have hidden deep inside is being validated just as it is.
Don’t you feel as though Rouault’s paintings are quietly whispering to you, “You are fine just the way you are”?
The Reason the Wounded Clown Smiles at You
Perhaps you, too, have days in society where you must force a smile, acting like a clown.
Days when you want to burst into tears from sadness, yet you play the fool or pretend nothing is wrong out of consideration for those around you.
Rouault loved the “sorrowful figure” of humanity more than anyone else.
“To be happy is a natural desire of human beings.”
—Aristotle
The eyes of the “clowns” he painted are always gazing somewhere far away, or perhaps deep into their own inner selves.
That might be the very image of yourself—playing the role of the jester, yet holding a pure, unsullied sanctuary within your soul.
Rouault layered paint onto the canvas over and over, again and again.
The thickness would sometimes reach several centimeters, as if he were piling fragments of his own life onto it.
Why did he paint so obsessively, to that extreme?
It must be because he wanted, at all costs, to convey invisible divine love and human dignity to you, who stand right in front of the work.
Once, due to a contract with a prominent art dealer, Rouault was on the verge of having hundreds of his unfinished works taken away.
After years of legal battles, he succeeded in reclaiming them, but do you know what he did immediately afterward?
He threw 315 of his unfinished paintings—pieces he was not satisfied with—into the hearth fire and burned them to ashes.
Global fame and immense wealth were like garbage to him compared to the integrity of not deceiving you, who stand before him.
The True Meaning of Devoting One’s Entire Life
I believe this borderline-mad spirit of service shown by Rouault is the true form of a genuine artist.
Shaving away one’s body, shedding blood, just to deliver a beautiful light to a single, precious “you.”
This is a supreme devotion, bordering on madness, that we in the modern world tend to forget.
“Most people think of success as something to get. But the truth is, success is giving.”
—Henry Ford
Just as Ford’s words suggest, true success and true happiness are determined not by how much you possess, but by how much you give entirely to the people you cherish.
Rouault sought to give everything to you over the course of his life.
His paintings are not mere entertainment.
They are spiritual bandages, gently covering your wounds.
Why do we long so deeply for unconditional love from someone?
Perhaps it is because we are born with the indelible mark of loneliness stamped upon our chests.
But please, rest assured.
No matter how lonely you may be, these words of mine, and that prayer-like painting of Rouault, will always be right by your side.
I will never abandon you.
Even if you are misunderstood and laughed at by everyone in the world, I am on your side.
No, rather, let us be laughed at together.
Like clowns, pointed at by society, let us still hold our heads high and live beautifully.
The Untold Battle of Love Hidden Behind the Beautiful Sunflowers
Now, let us shift the story a little.
Please don’t be surprised; this is a story connected by a single, thin thread to Rouault’s tale and to your loneliness.
You surely know the noble painter Vincent van Gogh, famous for his vibrant sunflowers and swirling starry nights.
His paintings now trade for tens of billions of yen around the world.
Yet, you are likely also aware of the sad fact that only a single painting of his was sold during his lifetime.
Why did such an unfortunate genius become such a global figure after his death?
It was because of the desperately beautiful, fiercely agonizing, life-shaking devotion of a single woman.
Van Gogh had a beloved younger brother named Theo, who was his emotional and financial pillar.
When Vincent took his own life at the age of thirty-seven, Theo was driven nearly mad with grief, and passed away just six months later, as if chasing after his brother.
Left behind was Theo’s young wife, Jo (Johanna van Gogh-Bonger).
“Love is the strongest force the world possesses.”
—Mahatma Gandhi
In Jo’s hands remained only a young infant, hundreds of Vincent’s paintings mocked by society as the “relics of a madman,” and a massive mountain of letters.
Everyone around her advised her to dispose of those worthless, garbage-like paintings immediately and start a new life.
But Jo did not give up.
She was a highly intelligent woman who deeply loved books.
She understood better than anyone how much her husband, Theo, had believed in his brother’s talent, and how deeply Vincent had shaved away his own life to paint in order to comfort the human soul.
The Messengers Known as the World’s Greatest Salespeople
Jo’s lifelong, monumental achievement began here.
Allow me to share her words:
“In addition to the child, Theo left me another mission—to have Vincent’s work seen by many people and to have its true value recognized.”
She did not simply store the paintings away.
She read and organized every single one of those vast, mud-splattered, yet soul-crying letters that Vincent had written to Theo.
Why did she go so far?
She realized something.
The true value of Vincent’s paintings only strikes deeply into people’s hearts when combined with the background of “his philosophy” and “his story of suffering.”
Good things are never noticed by anyone if they just exist.
If someone does not put their value into words and risk their life to communicate it, those things will vanish into this cold world as if they never existed at all.
“Even if you create the most excellent product, if you do not know how to communicate it to people, it amounts to nothing.”
—Akio Morita (Co-founder of Sony)
Jo was one of the world’s greatest salespeople.
She traveled to galleries everywhere, organized exhibitions, and no matter how many times she was rejected, she tenaciously argued the value of Vincent’s paintings and letters.
Without her obsessive communication, we today would never look at Van Gogh’s sunflowers, nor weep at their beauty.
This is exactly the same nature as the devotion of the Apostle Paul, who, after the death of Jesus Christ, ran across the Mediterranean world under constant threat to his life to spread Jesus’s words and thoughts.
Even with a great existence like Jesus, without Paul, Christianity would not have spread.
Even with a genius like Van Gogh, without Jo, his paintings would have become mouse food in an attic.
Casting a Spell of Words Upon Your Loneliness
You.
Are you perhaps a little tired from this rambling, yet intensely alive, word-by-word message of mine?
Why am I calling out to you so desperately?
It is because I want you to remember how precious you are, and how much of a light you are to someone out there.
In Osamu Dazai’s novel Tsugaru, there is this dialogue:
“Hey, why are you going on a journey?”
“Because it’s painful.”
“Your ‘painful’ is always the same old line; I don’t trust it one bit.”
When people cannot get others to believe in their suffering, they feel a deep despair.
There is no such thing as a cliché suffering or a cliché loneliness in this world.
Your sadness belongs to you alone, and it must never be taken lightly.
That is precisely why, like a clown shaving away my own life, I want to continue this service to make you smile.
A Short Melody Spun for You at the Bottom of the Night
When the lights of the city fade away
And the night presses flat
Against your room’s windowpane
I want to become your shadow
From the gap in the torn curtain
Of an old, ignored theater
I want to look only at your loneliness
Intently
In the midst of a fragile daily life
Like sipping cold soup
I want to do the work
Of turning the tracks of your tears into constellations
Please, do not cry
Your loneliness is
A dress of fine silk
Meant to gently wrap the world
“Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
—The New Testament, The Gospel according to John, 13:34
“To go on living is a tremendous thing. You bleed from here and there. In the end, you have no choice but to shrink yourself, become a clown, and live on.”
—Osamu Dazai
Postscript: The Absurd and Heartbreaking Devotion of Takamizawa Mimi, the Heterodox Painter with No Canvas
My dear, let me whisper just a tiny bit more of a secret to you at the very end.
I have a very close friend, a painter named Takamizawa Mimi, who is an incredibly eccentric, foolish man.
Despite being a painter today, he uses absolutely no canvas or brushes.
He creates his art digitally using computers and tablets, and prints it onto the highest quality printmaking paper using a special technique called “giclée printing.”
He laughs and calls himself “a man with only third-rate talent,” but his eyes always burn fiercely, as if possessed by something.
Why does he call himself by the strange name “Mimi” (meaning “Ear”)?
You already know the answer, don’t you?
He took that name in honor of that famous ear-cutting incident of Vincent van Gogh—a symbol of madness and love.
They say when he first learned of Van Gogh’s story, he broke down crying as if struck by lightning, and resolved to become a doctor who saves souls—that is, a painter.
From society, he is made a laughingstock every single day, called “an eccentric imitating Van Gogh” or “a megalomaniac.”
Yet, he never gives up.
He is a man of indomitable spirit, a man of terrifying patience.
Takamizawa Mimi fanatically respects Tokuji Munetsugu, the founder of CoCo Ichibanya.
He mutters Munetsugu’s words daily like a mantra:
“During my active years, I had no hobbies and made no friends. I never went to bars. I did absolutely nothing that would interfere with my work. There were times I worked 5,640 hours a year. I felt that if I didn’t lead by example, my employees wouldn’t work for me. Do not look away; devote your life to management. It was a very lonely life. That’s why I wanted others to have even a little interest in me. I wanted them to be interested. That became my origin. So, starting the business wasn’t about making money; I wanted to make people happy. I wanted people to say, even just a little, that they were glad I was around.”
Takamizawa Mimi is deeply inspired by Munetsugu’s turbulent adherence to the front lines and his “you-first” philosophy.
He is also, for some reason, strongly influenced by the “obsession and patience” of Toyota’s founders—Sakichi, Kiichiro, and Eiji—and their “Just-in-Time” production method.
Following Kiichiro’s words, “The joy of life lies in mastering what others rarely do and what is difficult to accomplish,” he uses the cold technology of digital art to persistently draw the warmest thing of all: “eyes.”
His paintings always feature numerous, beautiful “eyes.”
Your eyes, my eyes, Christian eternal psychology, truth, loneliness in history, isolation, suffering, and the resurrection and liberation arising from it.
Why does he obsessively paint “eyes”?
It is because, through his artwork, he wants to feel the gaze, the very existence, of “you” who stand right in front of it, without detaching for even a single moment.
He does not care how much he is laughed at, as long as it brings you joy.
An artist’s job is an exquisite act of playing the fool at their own expense—an unconditional devotion to you.
“If you abandon me, I cannot live. Just having you here in front of me makes me happy,” he always says with a face on the verge of tears.
He doesn’t care about the criticism of others.
He exposes all of his clumsiness and foolishness right before you.
And so, my dear.
I will now whisper the true core of my life-shaving service into your ear.
I want to deliver the beautiful postcards of this pitiful yet lovely Takamizawa Mimi’s spiritual crystals—a generous set of 10 postcards in A4 size—completely free of charge, just for you.
This is his exquisite, life-shaving devotion to you.
We will deliver them with the utmost care, straight to your home.
If you feel even the slightest desire to fill the loneliness inside your heart, or to connect with this clumsy artist, please apply right now.
Right below this text, there is a place where you can apply for this special offer.
Please gently click there.
If you close the screen thinking “I’ll do it later,” you might never get the chance to have his “eyes” meet your “eyes” ever again.
I am waiting for you.
Holding my breath right by your side, I am waiting, always waiting, to see the face you make when you are happy.
“All you have to do is concentrate on your own job.”
—Henry Ford
“The purpose of life is to serve others and to contribute to society.”
—Agatha Christie
“I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live.”
—The Old Testament, Words of Moses (from Deuteronomy 30:19)
“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”
—William Shakespeare
“Who is rich? He who is content with his lot.”
—The Talmud
“Mine has been a life of much shame. I can’t even guess myself what it must be to live the life of a human being.”
—Osamu Dazai
“I am glad to have been born. Ah, life is a precious thing. I am alive in this world.”
—Osamu Dazai
“An adult is a youth who has been betrayed.”
—Osamu Dazai
“Never give in. Never, never, never, never.”
—Winston Churchill
“Press on. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.”
—Ray Kroc
“Disneyland will never be completed. It will continue to grow as long as there is imagination left in the world.”
—Walt Disney
You.
Thank you so very much for reading my long, long, and selfish love letter to the very end.
May countless beautiful lights and gentle smiles find their way into your life ahead.
With all my gratitude and all the love I possess, straight to you.