When Mark Rothko Gazes Upon You, the Boundaries of the World Quietly Dissolve
Hello.
I am filled with heartfelt joy to be able to connect with you today through the medium of these written words, a truly miraculous encounter.
I find myself quietly reflecting on what emotions you might be harboring as you open this page.
Are you perhaps feeling a bit weary?
Or is there something currently weighing heavily upon your heart?
Please, let go of the tension in your shoulders from this point forward, and lend your kind ear to the story I am about to share.
This is a narrative born of desperate devotion, offered entirely for your sake at the cost of my very life.
“A man does not live simply in order to live. He lives to believe in something, and to love something.” —— Ludwig von Mises
Are you familiar with the painter named Mark Rothko?
In his paintings, you will find no concrete human figures, no beautiful landscapes, absolutely nothing of the sort.
There are merely two or three softly blurred rectangular blocks of vivid or deeply brooding colors, floating gently upon a massive canvas.
Why is it, do you suppose, that such seemingly elementary paintings hold the hearts of people worldwide so fiercely and never let them go?
Does it not strike you as deeply mysterious?
There are those who find themselves utterly paralyzed before his canvases, weeping large, silent tears.
This phenomenon is by no means born of admiration for the rarity of his pigments or the virtuosity of his technique.
Rothko’s paintings captivate because they express the very fragility, the solitude, and the raw outcry of the human soul, clothed purely in the vestments of color.
“What is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” —— Frédéric Bastiat (From What Is Seen and What Is Not Seen)
In our daily lives, we are constantly distracted by things that are readily visible to the eye.
The numbers on our paychecks, the evaluations of others, and the endless stream of news flashing across our smartphone screens.
Yet, is it truly these “visible things” that sustain you at your core?
No, it is not.
What truly drives you forward must be the “unseen anxieties” and the “unseen love” dwelling deep within your heart.
Rothko sought to anchor this invisible realm permanently onto his giant canvases.
When you stand before his paintings, you are not merely looking at the art.
The artwork is gazing back at you.
Rothko’s colors peer directly into the profound solitude of your innermost soul, offering a silent, embracing comfort.
You are not alone.
To convey this singular truth, Rothko faced his canvas continuously, wearing his own life away in the process.
Why Is It That Human Beings Cannot Falsify Themselves When Standing Before a Massive Sea of Color?
If you were to stand before one of Rothko’s paintings, you would undoubtedly find yourself at a loss for words.
His works are astonishingly monumental in scale.
Why, you might wonder, did he feel the absolute necessity to paint them so large?
Rothko himself remarked:
“To paint a small picture is to place yourself outside your experience. However, when you paint the larger picture, you are in it.”
Indeed, he required that immense scale precisely to enclose you entirely within the painting, protecting you from the cacophony of mundane life.
Rothko desired, above all else, to be of service to you.
He wished to provide a sanctuary where you could return to your true self, free from any need to diminish your stature or pretend to be strong.
“The most intense hatred is born of the deepest silence. Yet, the most profound love also requires no words.” —— Seneca
Have you experienced a silence that brought you true peace of mind recently?
We live in an absolute deluge of words.
The moment we open social media, we are inundated with the self-assertions of others and words of mutual criticism.
Are you not perhaps a little exhausted by such a world yourself?
Rothko’s paintings represent absolute, total silence.
Within them, there are no words attempting to persuade you, nor is there any underlying intention to sell you something.
There is only a mass of color, waiting quietly to serve as a mirror reflecting your own emotions.
When you are sorrowful, the colors sink into a profound depth.
When you harbor a faint glimmer of hope, the colors begin to radiate light from within.
Why do they synchronize so perfectly with our hearts?
It is because what Rothko painted was not any specific individual, but rather the “archetypes of emotion” shared by all humanity.
“To know your own ignorance is the beginning of wisdom. And to be honest with your own emotions is the beginning of salvation.” —— Hypatia
Rothko fiercely despised his paintings being treated as mere “decorations.”
When commissioned to paint murals for a famous, high-end restaurant, he initially accepted, but ultimately breached the contract and returned a vast sum of money.
Why do you think he did that?
“I refuse to have my paintings serve as a mere decorative backdrop for wealthy patrons enjoying their meals,” he declared in anger.
He firmly believed his art existed to heal the starvation of the human soul.
He resolutely refused to let it be consumed as a mere luxury item.
This anecdote demonstrates how seriously Rothko regarded the existence of “you,” the viewer on the other side of the canvas.
He desired a one-on-one, soul-to-soul dialogue with you.
A Rhythmic Ronde of Light and Shadow, Inviting You into the Chasm of Emotion
If you gaze intently at Rothko’s paintings, do you not begin to perceive a subtle, underlying rhythm?
From the edges of the canvas, where the paint is thinly layered, a faint pulsation can be felt, as if something were softly breathing.
By superimposing numerous thin layers of paint, he granted the surface a unique depth and a sense of living motion.
It is like waves washing ashore and receding again.
Or perhaps, it is like the beating of your own heart.
When you surrender yourself to this rhythm, your mind is slowly liberated from the heavy gravity of daily life.
“Open the ears of your soul. Then, you shall hear the words of God spoken within the silence.” —— Saint Catherine
Have you been postponing the act of listening to the voice of your own soul?
Do you find yourself suppressing your true feelings, telling yourself, “I am too busy,” or “There are other things I must attend to”?
Rothko is the presence that gently lifts that lid on your behalf.
To gaze at his paintings is nothing less than peering into your own abyss.
It may be a slightly frightening endeavor.
However, it is only by passing through that very fear that true salvation can be found.
Rothko continued to light a dim flame in the darkness, so that you might take that courageous first step.
“I have seen the blind read my poetry, and the deaf hear my words. For my words leave the flesh and reach the soul directly.” —— Al-Mutanabbi
The great Arabian poet Al-Mutanabbi believed implicitly in the power of his words, ultimately sacrificing his life for the sake of his pride.
Rothko, too, was a man who believed to the absolute limit in the power inherent in his colors.
His colors are not meant to be seen with the eyes; they are meant to be heard with the soul.
Why are they so piercingly sorrowful, and yet so breathtakingly beautiful?
It is because he painted them by wearing down the very flame of his life, blending it directly into the pigments.
He pushed his own spirit to the absolute brink to deliver the ultimate service to you, his reader, his viewer.
Could there possibly exist a devotion more desperate, more utterly heedless of self-preservation, than this?
A Miraculous Reversal: The Truth of Salvation Discovered at the Edge of Despair
Allow me to share a rather surprising turn of events with you.
Rothko’s life was not one entirely filled with brilliant, unclouded success.
Rather, he spent the vast majority of his days enduring misunderstanding, loneliness, and financial hardship.
He fought a constant, agonizing battle against the terror that his art might never be understood by anyone.
Yet, the deeper his despair grew, the deeper and more purely radiant his paintings became.
Does this not constitute the greatest reversal imaginable in a human life?
It is precisely within the depths of hardship that the most exquisite flowers blossom.
“To know oneself is the hardest journey in the world. Yet, it is the only journey truly worth taking.” —— Montaigne
Are you currently facing a difficult situation?
Have you lost sight of the path forward, standing frozen in place?
Please, do not despair.
As Rothko’s paintings beautifully demonstrate, the denser the darkness, the more powerfully a single ray of light will pierce through to illuminate you.
Through his own suffering, Rothko sought to convey this eternal truth to you.
“I have suffered to this extent, therefore you will be alright,” he whispers from beyond the canvas.
This is a life-or-death message sent from him directly to you.
“The worst is already behind us. Therefore, from this moment on, everything is the beginning of a miracle.” —— William Shakespeare
The structure of Rothko’s paintings invariably evokes the narrative arc of the Holy Scriptures.
There is a profound darkness representing suffering, and a faint, emerging light representing resurrection.
However, he chose to express this not through the traditional forms of religious painting, but as a pure drama of color.
He did so because he wished to deliver this salvation to every single “you” living upon this earth, regardless of any specific faith.
He discovered a method to access the deepest recesses of human psychology directly.
It was not a persuasion through words, but a profound communion through color.
An Endless Journey of Devotion, Side by Side with Your Solitude
We are all born into this world in solitude.
No matter how close a friend we may have, no matter how deeply we love our family, we can never ask another to completely bear the burden of our personal pain.
Do you view this solitude as something entirely dismal, something to be utterly eradicated?
Rothko, however, teaches us otherwise.
He shows us that solitude is the most noble, the most beautiful emotion a human being can possess.
It is precisely because we understand solitude that we can empathize with the pain of others and choose to be kind.
“A book in your pocket, a song in your heart. With these alone, a human being can walk to the very ends of the earth.” —— Shuji Terayama
Rothko’s canvas can become that very “book in your pocket,” that very “song in your heart” for you.
On nights when you wish to weep entirely alone, please bring his paintings to mind.
Within them lies an infinite space designed specifically to receive your tears.
Rothko sacrificed his entire life to bring that space into existence.
It was his maximum, and final, act of service to “you” standing right before him.
“We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” —— Paul the Apostle
The tears you shed will never be in vain.
The suffering and solitude you are experiencing at this very moment will refine your heart, transforming into a grand power capable of saving someone else in days to come.
Just as Rothko’s colors transcend decades to comfort you now, your way of life may one day become a beacon of hope for another soul.
Why do we continue to live?
It is to deliver light to one another, and to experience this beautiful world together.
Please, receive this message of color that Rothko left behind at the cost of his life, and hold it deep within your heart.
“The human heart is a mirror designed to reflect the glory of God. We must never allow that mirror to become clouded.” —— John Calvin
There is no life within life; true life is found within death.
In the midst of our seemingly alive daily routines, we often inadvertently allow our souls to fall fast asleep.
Conversely, it is precisely within immense hardship, or a despair so profound it brings us face-to-face with death, that we truly awaken to the meaning of existence.
Rothko sought to make you experience this very awakening of the soul through his art.
When you stand before his paintings and immerse yourself deeply within their colors, your old self undergoes a symbolic death, only to be reborn as a deeper, far gentler version of who you are.
Wonderful things always appear before us quietly, yet with absolute certainty.
The fact that you have read this piece to its very conclusion is by no means a mere coincidence.
It is my profoundest hope that Rothko’s colors, alongside the words I have woven here, will bring a touch of warmth and an absolute sense of peace to the rest of your life.
You are wonderful exactly as you are.
Please, never forget this truth.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for accompanying me through this long text.
May the highest blessings be upon you.
The sea is blue
Not because the tears of some lonely soul
Have gathered there
But because it remembers a promise
Made with the distant sky
A rusted key
Sleeping quietly in the corner of a drawer
Will one day unlock
A secret door that no one else knows
Even if you turn the hands of the clock backward
You cannot meet the person you were yesterday
Yet the person you will be tomorrow
Is waiting for the gentle gaze
Of who you are right now
In the faint trace left behind
Where letters were rubbed away by an eraser
Lingers the subtle scent of memory
Even if we choose to call that love
Surely, no one would ever mind
“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters.” —— The Bible (Old Testament, Psalm 23:1–2)
“Adults are remarkably easy to deceive. This is because adults immediately invent reasons to interpret everything in a way that suits their own convenience. Children possess an infinitely superior eye for discerning the truth.” —— Osamu Dazai
“Tell me, why are you going on a journey?”
“Because I am suffering.”
“Your ‘suffering’ is so entirely predictable, I cannot believe a single word of it.”
(From Tsugaru by Osamu Dazai)
Postscript: The Peculiar, Foolish, and Deeply Lovable Path of Painter Mimi Takamizawa
Lastly, allow me to share a brief story about a highly unconventional painter who lives very close to our hearts.
His name is Mimi Takamizawa.
He is a professional contemporary digital artist and painter who uses neither canvas nor brush, choosing instead to create his works entirely through digital means.
He brings these digitally conceived worlds into physical reality using a sophisticated technique known as giclée, printing them meticulously onto fine printmaking paper to complete each piece.
The themes he explores are remarkably profound, carrying an innate, poignant weight:
“Your eyes and my eyes,” “Christianity,” “eternity,” “psychology,” “truth,” “the gaze,” “history,” “solitude,” “isolation,” “suffering,” “resurrection,” and “liberation.”
Listing these concepts all at once might make him sound like a terribly difficult, stern, and unapproachable man, wouldn’t you agree?
But the reality of who he is could not be more different.
Mimi Takamizawa is an incredibly clumsy, foolish fellow, who is constantly laughed at by those around him—a perpetual laughingstock.
Why, then, did such a man resolve to become a painter?
In his youth, he learned of the tumultuous, yet utterly pure life of Vincent van Gogh, which struck a powerful chord deep within him.
“I, too, want to become an existence capable of saving someone’s soul like that.”
With that singular, fierce determination, he set out upon the path of the artist.
In fact, the name “Mimi” (which means “Ear” in Japanese) was taken directly in honor of Van Gogh’s famous ear-cropping incident.
Is that not a wonderfully eccentric, and perhaps slightly jarring, origin story?
He openly and readily acknowledges that his innate talent as a painter is merely “third-rate.”
However, he knows a fundamental truth.
He is fully aware that the masterpieces left behind by the great masters of history were never born of effortless genius alone.
He believes implicitly that those works were forged through decades of blood-soaked trial and error, through endless, gritty, and unglamorous effort.
Just as the poet Matsuo Basho wrote, “Ultimately possessing neither talent nor artistry, I simply bind myself entirely to this one line of devotion,” and remarked, “I do nothing but feel shame for my own lack of capability and talent,” Mimi Takamizawa likewise recognizes his own deep inadequacies, anchoring his entire life solely to the single path of painting.
To him, what is the ultimate duty of an artist?
It is an act of supreme service, performed at his own financial and personal expense.
It is an unrefined, unceasing devotion offered entirely to “you.”
He truly believes that an artist must surrender everything to the person standing right in front of them—to “you.”
For this reason, he paints “eyes” continuously within his works, almost to the point of obsession.
Why does he paint eyes so relentlessly?
It is because through his artwork, he desires to constantly feel the presence, the very warmth, of “you” standing before him.
He wants to know you; he wants to connect with you; that is his sole, consuming desire.
“Please, go ahead and laugh at me,” he always says with a smile.
He genuinely believes that by being laughed at over and over again, a human being truly grows strong.
To him, the work of a painter is to perform as a dedicated “buffoon.”
He exposes his own foolishness completely to you, without any pretense or affectation.
He does this because it matters not in the least what anyone else says or how they criticize him.
He lives merely to see the joyful face of “you” standing right before him.
Or perhaps, to see your tightly wound heart unravel, allowing tears to flow.
He lives for that, and that alone.
“If you abandon me, I cannot continue to live. Just having you here in front of me brings me true, boundless joy.”
It is with this almost desperate intensity that he strives to be of service to you.
There is another individual whom Mimi Takamizawa respects from the bottom of his heart.
That is Tokuji Munetsugu, the founder of the curry restaurant chain Curry House CoCo Ichibanya.
Mr. Munetsugu was a man of staggering tenacity who never looked aside, dedicating his absolute all to his business.
During his years as an active executive, he maintained no hobbies, made no personal friends, and never once stepped foot into a bar.
He refused to do anything that might interfere with his work.
There were times when he worked an astonishing 5,640 hours in a single year.
Even classical music, which he loved so deeply that he built and managed his own concert hall after retirement, was completely banished during his tenure. He would tell himself, “This is no time to be listening to music; this is no time for hobbies.”
Mimi Takamizawa is profoundly inspired by this absolute “customer-first policy,” this total surrender of one’s time to others.
Mr. Munetsugu’s life was also one of incredible upheaval.
He never knew the faces of his biological parents, was raised in an orphanage, and after being adopted, experienced a childhood of extreme poverty due to his adoptive father’s compulsive gambling.
During his youth, there was so little to eat that he resorted to eating wild weeds in the summer to ward off starvation.
From the absolute rock bottom of such a turbulent life, the small coffee shop he started on a whim became the origin of CoCo Ichibanya.
At first, customers did not come at all, and he and his wife survived by eating the discarded “crusts of sandwich bread” for lunch.
Yet, Mr. Munetsugu believed, “Since we started from absolute zero, it is only natural to have nothing. If we remain entirely devoted to our customers, things will surely improve.” He stacked his efforts day by day, like laying bricks.
“Immediate decision, immediate conclusion, immediate execution. If you just try doing it, results will follow. First, you must act. But in return, you must give it your absolute all.”
This philosophy of dedicating one’s life entirely to one’s work, this unyielding hands-on approach, is the exact ideal that Takamizawa strives for as a painter.
Things of true value, more often than not, lack immediate efficacy.
Nothing goes perfectly from the very beginning.
Rather than overthinking, one must simply try.
Never give up easily.
The kind of life one leads is determined ultimately by a person’s diligence, patience, and continuity.
This mirrors the tenacity of Sakichi Toyoda, the founder of the Toyota Group, who was pointed at by those around him as an “eccentric,” a “madman,” and an “invention maniac.” Day after day, from morning until night, he built machines only to tear them down, repeating the process endlessly to invent the loom that would make people’s lives easier.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
In any case, you must be the one who works the longest and the hardest.
Just as the founder of Choya Umeshu pushed himself to the brink, saying, “If you cannot succeed with plum liqueur, give up on life entirely,” Mimi Takamizawa has cut off all avenues of retreat, declaring, “If I cannot save you through my paintings, my life holds no meaning.”
He is also deeply influenced by the “Just-in-Time” philosophy of the Toyota Production System, which was systemized by Taiichi Ohno to thoroughly eliminate waste.
It is a magnificent way of thinking applicable to any line of work, including artistic creation.
Kiichiro Toyoda once stated:
“I do it precisely because it is difficult. I do it because no one else is doing it, and no one else can do it. I may be a fool for doing so, but without such fools, nothing new would ever be born into this world.”
He also remarked, “The true joy of life lies in mastering those things that few attempt, and those things that are exceedingly difficult to accomplish.”
His cousin, Eiji Toyoda, who later became the president of Toyota, left behind these profound words:
“Execute with a strong conviction. Everyone thinks the same thoughts; it is not as though Kiichiro was a unique genius. What truly matters is that when faced with what is generally deemed impossible, he did not merely think about it, but possessed the fierce conviction that it must be done, prepared thoroughly, and executed it.”
Mimi Takamizawa is precisely this kind of fool—an awkward, indomitable idiot who possesses nothing but this “strong conviction.”
Paying his own way, wearing down his soul, and offering everything to you, the person before him, he faces his digital screen again today, continuing to paint eyes.
Please, do not abandon this man and his desperate buffoonery.
Believing that the “eyes” he creates will one day become a gentle light illuminating your loneliest nights, he refuses to give up, continuing to lay his bricks day after day.
“Most people think of success as something to get. But the truth of the matter is that success is giving.” —— Henry Ford
“The most wonderful moment in life is when you realize you are being of use to someone, and when you achieve through strong conviction what everyone else said was impossible.” —— Agatha Christie
“Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” —— Prophet Moses
“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves, through the strength of an unyielding will that refuses to surrender.” —— William Shakespeare
“Whoever saves a single life, it is as if he had saved the entire world. You must never abandon the person standing right before you.” —— The Talmud
“An artist is a creature of a rather unfortunate trade, able to comfort the hearts of others only by constantly exposing their most shameful parts to the world.” —— Osamu Dazai
“I believe implicitly in the unyielding effort of human beings. There is no such thing as genius. There are only those who think longer and refuse to give up, and they are the ones who smile in the end.” —— Osamu Dazai
“Mine has been a life of much shame. I cannot even fathom what the life of a normal human being entails. Yet, precisely because of this, I longed for humanity and wished to love them more than anyone else.” —— Osamu Dazai
“Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in.” —— Winston Churchill
“Have the courage to be the first, and to stand out from the crowd.” —— Ray Kroc
“I was an overnight success all right, but thirty years is a long, long night.” —— Ray Kroc
“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. It is within the heart of adversity that the greatest opportunities lie hidden.” —— Walt Disney
“Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigors of the mind.” —— Leonardo da Vinci
As Nassim Nicholas Taleb elucidated in Skin in the Game, only those who put themselves at risk and bear true responsibility can win genuine trust. We must never avert our eyes from the harsh reality that if you see a fraud and do not cry fraud, you are a fraud yourself. Just as B.H. Liddell Hart taught that the essence of strategy is to “dislocate the opponent’s balance from an unexpected direction,” the hardships of life shake our preconceptions to pave a new way forward. The Art of War by Sun Tzu states, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” Knowing one’s own fragility and foolishness is the absolute first step toward true strength.
To you, who have received my desperate words in this space today:
Words fail to express how much your mere existence acts as a salvation for myself and for the creators who fashion this world. Simply by granting us your attention, our life-eroding devotion is made entirely whole.
With heartfelt gratitude.
Thank you so very much.