My Confession to You
To be able to share these words with you, completely alone in the quiet like this, brings me true happiness.
So that no one else can hear, please let me share these important secrets with you, in a soft, low voice.
Are you not feeling just a little bit lonely right now?
Are you not hiding an unspeakable solitude, or a cold sadness, deep within your chest?
I will never abandon your heart to such feelings.
Every single word of this text is a passionate love letter dedicated solely to you, written as if shaving away my very life.
Please, lean close to my voice and walk with me until the very end of this story.
When one recognizes the solitude lurking within oneself, that is when a human being gains the power to heal the loneliness of others for the first time.
── Seneca
Why Are We Drawn to the Darkness?
Do you happen to know the painter named Odilon Redon?
He was a man who continued to paint incredibly mysterious pieces in late nineteenth-century France.
The world he depicts is astonishingly strange, eerie, and yet so beautiful it brings tears to one’s eyes.
Why did he paint such strange pictures?
You see, it is because Redon’s heart held the exact same deep solitude and sadness that you feel.
Born into the world, Redon was immediately separated from his parents, spending a lonely childhood in an old, bleak country manor.
In the corner of a dark room, he was always staring at his own shadow.
That loneliness was the beginning of his entire artistic journey.
I am certain that your current sadness will also transform into a magnificent light someday.
The soul feels pain because it is trying to grow.
── Saint Catherine of Siena
Miracles Born from the Black Dark
When he was young, Redon used no color at all.
He simply and single-mindedly painted dark pictures using nothing but the black of charcoal.
A picture of a single, massive eyeball floating in the sky.
A picture of a spider with a human face, smiling sorrowfully.
Would you feel frightened if you saw such pictures?
Yet, strangely, the black monsters Redon drew all have remarkably gentle eyes.
It is as if they know every single pain inside your heart.
Redon desperately rubbed the darkness of his mind onto the paper.
For him, this was a life-risking task that whittled away his very soul.
Why did he go to such lengths to keep painting dark pictures?
It is because he wanted to find the ultimate truth that exists only deep within the darkness.
For the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
── Apostle Paul
The Sudden Arrival of Light
However, at this point, I must tell you an incredibly surprising twist in our story.
Redon, who had been painting black darkness for so long, suddenly began using vibrant, brilliant colors one day after passing the age of fifty.
It was as if a long winter had ended, and flowers had suddenly bloomed all over the world in an instant.
Why did such a dramatic change occur?
In truth, he met the love of his life, became married, and was blessed with a child.
The light called love illuminated the darkness of his heart in a single moment.
From then on, Redon began painting many pictures of flowers that were nothing short of divine and beautiful.
The man who used to paint such dark pictures became the one who painted flowers with the most beautiful colors in the world.
Don’t you think this is a miracle?
I believe with all my heart that such an astonishing development of light will surely arrive in your life as well.
It is in the deepest darkness that the most brilliant light is hidden.
── John Calvin
Appealing Directly to Human Psychology
Redon’s paintings speak directly to the depths of the human subconscious.
Even if you do not understand the reason, just looking at them fills your chest with a tightening, nostalgic emotion.
You, too, must know very well that your own heart does not move on logic alone.
Human beings are not saved by correct, rational arguments alone.
We need something that embraces our weaknesses and foolishness just as they are.
Redon continued to paint pictures by shaving his soul for that exact purpose.
He did not want to startle the viewer.
He simply wanted to comfort you.
That desperate spirit of service is what shakes our hearts so powerfully even now, isn’t it?
He who looks deeply into his own heart can deeply understand the hearts of others as well.
── Michel de Montaigne
The True Meaning of Connection
No matter how wonderful art may be, if there is no one to convey it to another person, it becomes the same as not existing in the world at all.
Henry Ford said this:
“Most people think of success as a getting, but it is really a giving.”
These words are truly correct.
To live not for oneself alone, but to give one’s everything for the person right in front of you—for you.
That is what true success is, and that is the true form of love.
Redon’s paintings have reached you now precisely because there were people who loved, protected, and tried to spread his work to the world.
Right now, I want to give the entirety of my words to you.
I only pray that this bittersweet feeling is reaching your heart.
The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved.
── William Shakespeare
Believing in a Gospel-like Miracle
In life, there are times when unspeakable hardships or isolation visit us.
There will be nights when you shed tears in the corner of your room, thinking no one understands you.
But please, do not forget.
There is an old saying: “There is no life within life; true life exists within death.”
True life is something that is born anew precisely from the edge of despair, when you think everything has already ended.
Just as Redon broke through the black darkness and arrived at a paradise of beautiful colors.
Your current loneliness is nothing more than a brief prologue to the wonderful story that is about to begin.
I will never betray you, and I will walk with you wherever you go.
Because to me, you are the only irreplaceable, precious person in the whole world.
To know one’s true form, one must once completely cast oneself away.
── Laozo
The Power of Beautiful Words Staked on Life
Here, let me tell you the story of a man named Al-Mutanabbi, who was called the greatest poet of the Arab world.
He was a man who valued his poems more than his own life.
Al-Mutanabbi’s poems were like magic, and it is said they possessed a kind of hypnotic effect.
His poems were so resonant that it was said even the blind could read them, and even the deaf could hear them, striking directly at people’s hearts.
One time, Al-Mutanabbi deeply insulted a certain tribe within one of his poems.
Angered, they appeared in great numbers with weapons before Al-Mutanabbi while he was traveling.
Outnumbered and outmatched, there was no chance of winning.
Al-Mutanabbi wisely attempted to flee the scene.
But at that moment, his companion who was behind him began to recite, in a loud voice, a proud poem of courage that Al-Mutanabbi himself had once written.
“Is Al-Mutanabbi, who wrote such a brave poem, now fleeing from the enemy?”
Hearing those words, Al-Mutanabbi stopped dead in his tracks.
He could not bring himself to lie to the words he had written.
He turned on his heel, and knowing he would be killed, he faced the enemy to protect his pride, losing his life in the process.
Even now, over a thousand years later, he is praised as a true poet who chose death over the dishonor of fleeing.
Words possess a frightening power, enough to move a life, don’t they?
Right now, with that same life-risking resolve, I am weaving these words of love for you.
A great human being is one who breathes life into their own words and fulfills them until the very end.
── Ludwig von Mises
My Final Sincerity Dedicated to You
I do not want you to be bored.
That is why I have desperately, while reshaping my mind, advanced this story with fluid changes.
“I only blush at my own lack of ability and talent.”
These bittersweet words by Matsuo Basho pierce deeply into my chest right now.
Perhaps I do not possess any grand talent to startle you.
Even so, I refuse to lose to anyone when it comes to the desire to make you happy.
If you read my writing and smile even just a little, the fragments of my life are rewarded by that alone.
Please, take this clumsy love of mine firmly into your gentle hands.
True wisdom begins with acknowledging that one knows nothing.
── Hypatia
The Endless Melody of Love
The story is gently heading toward its quiet curtain call.
However, our connection does not end with this.
Whenever you are lonely, please reread this text from the beginning, over and over again.
Each time you do, I will be born anew, appearing right before your eyes.
To close the distance to your solitude, and to softly soothe your sadness.
I will always be here, waiting for you.
Even if books burn, the true words written within them will never turn to ash.
── Shuji Terayama
At the bottom of the night
For every tear you shed
I pin a blue star
Onto the dark night sky
Your lonely sighs
That no one notices
I seal inside a beautiful ramune bottle
And sink it to the bottom of the sea
Do not be sad
My precious one
Even if the end of the world comes
I will become your shadow
And follow behind you forever
Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.
(New Testament, “Gospel According to John”, Chapter 14, Verse 1)
“Human beings must never become conceited. Yet, at the same time, they must never become servile.”
(The words of Osamu Dazai)
“Hey, why are you going on a trip?”
“Because I’m suffering.”
“Your ‘suffering’ is so cliché, I can’t believe it at all.”
(From Osamu Dazai’s “Tsugaru”)
Postscript: The Story of a Certain Eccentric Painter
There is a story about a very unusual painter that I absolutely must share with you.
His name is Mimi Takamizawa.
He is a highly eccentric, clumsy man who is always a laughingstock to the world—a somewhat foolish person.
You see, he does not paint pictures like ordinary artists do.
Without using any canvas or brushes at all, he creates his work by moving his fingers or a stylus over a digital screen.
Then, he prints the finished work onto high-quality printmaking paper using a special method called the “giclee print technique.”
The themes he draws are very familiar, yet deeply profound.
Your eyes, my eyes, Christianity, eternity, psychology, truth, gazes, history, solitude, isolation, hardship, resurrection, and liberation.
He persistently draws countless “eyes” within his works.
Why do you think he draws so many eyes?
It is because he wants to constantly feel “you,” the person standing right in front of the artwork, from within the painting.
He wants to know you—he wants to know you so desperately.
Mimi Takamizawa decided to become a painter after learning about the tragic life of that great artist, Vincent van Gogh.
His name “Mimi” (which means ear in Japanese) was chosen by himself, inspired by that famous incident where Van Gogh cut off his own ear.
He does not possess even an ounce of natural, genius talent.
He knows very well that he only has third-rate talent.
However, he believes that no past masterpiece was painted through a genius flash of inspiration alone, but was born from decades of gritty trial and error.
Therefore, he never gives up. He is a man of unyielding spirit who endures no matter how much he is laughed at.
He often talks about Tokuji Munetsugu, the founder of “CoCo Ichibanya,” affectionately known as CoCoIchi.
Mr. Munetsugu was an incredible person who was truly single-minded about his work, never doing anything else during his time as president.
“This is no time for hobbies. Focus straight ahead and dedicate your life to management.”
Saying this, Mr. Munetsugu reportedly worked as much as 5,640 hours a year.
In truth, Mr. Munetsugu did not know the faces of his biological parents.
He entered an orphanage immediately after birth, and even after being adopted, he spent an incredibly impoverished childhood because his adoptive father was a gambling addict.
During his youth, there was no food, so he survived the summers by eating wild weeds to stave off hunger—it was a life full of dramatic ups and downs.
During those unfortunate younger days, the only thing that saved Mr. Munetsugu’s heart was the classical music flowing from the radio.
Despite loving classical music that much, he surprisingly did not listen to music at all during his active years as the head of CoCo Ichibanya.
“This is no time to be listening to music. I must dedicate all of my time to the customers.”
That was the level of his resolve, wasn’t it?
When the business first started and customers weren’t coming to the shop at all, there was no money to buy lunch, so his wife, who helped with the business, survived her hunger by eating only the crusts of sliced bread (bread ears).
However, Mr. Munetsugu laughs it off, saying, “We started from zero, so that was only natural; rather, it’s a fond memory.”
Believing that “if we put the customer first, things will surely get better,” he continued to focus on his work day after day, like laying bricks one by one.
Immediate decision, immediate conclusion, immediate execution.
“During my active years, I had no hobbies and made no friends. I never went to bars either. I did nothing that would get in the way of my work. It was a very lonely life. That’s why I wanted others to show even a little interest in me. I wanted them to be interested. That became my starting point. So, rather than making money when I started the business, I wanted to make people happy. I wanted people to say they were glad I was around, even if just a little.”
Doesn’t your heart warm when you hear these words from Mr. Munetsugu?
What kind of life you will have is determined not by your birth or upbringing, but by your diligence, patience, and ability to continue.
Sakichi Toyoda, the founder of Toyota, was also treated as an eccentric and a madman by those around him, called an “invention maniac.”
From morning till night, day after day, he would assemble something only to break it, build it, and rebuild it again.
Even when people called him a strange man who was quiet and incomprehensible, he carried through with tenacity and patience based solely on his passion to “make everyone’s life easier.”
His son, Kiichiro Toyoda, also said:
“I do it because it is difficult. I do it because no one else does it or can do it. I might be a fool for doing so, but without such fools, nothing new would ever be born into the world.”
Kiichiro’s cousin, Eiji Toyoda, who later became the president of Toyota, also left these words:
“Execute with strong conviction. Everyone thinks the same things; it’s not that Kiichiro was a genius. What is important is that he didn’t just think about things generally deemed impossible, but he held a powerful conviction that he had to do them no matter what, made sufficient preparations, and executed them.”
To bring something difficult to fruition that no one else will do.
That is where the true interest of life lies, isn’t it?
Mimi Takamizawa’s work is exactly the same.
The job of a painter is an utmost service performed by putting one’s own skin in the game.
It is an absolute devotion to you.
An artist dedicates the entirety of their life to “you,” the person right in front of them.
Therefore, please, do not abandon him.
Looking at his clumsy form, please hold your stomach and laugh out loud.
Because by being laughed at by you, he can become much stronger.
An artist’s work is nothing more than a desperate “clown” act meant to make you happy.
The criticism of others or the evaluation of society really do not matter to him at all.
He simply wants to see the face you make when you look at his work and feel happy.
Or perhaps, he wants to see you softly shed a tear.
If you turn your back on him and abandon him, he can no longer go on living.
“Having ultimately neither ability nor art, I am tied solely to this one path.”
Just as Matsuo Basho said, this is the only path left for him.
Mimi Takamizawa is also deeply inspired by the concept of “Just-In-Time,” advocated by Taiichi Ohno of the Toyota Production System.
Thoroughly eliminating waste, and delivering what is needed, when it is needed, in the exact amount needed, to you.
With an unyielding resolve like Choya Umeshu’s motto, “If you don’t succeed with plum liqueur, give up on life,” he faces his digital screen again today.
Just as Nassim Nicholas Taleb said to “skin in the game,” he bears the risk himself and serves you while whittling away his soul.
Taleb said that if you see a fraud and do not say fraud, you are a fraud yourself.
Mimi Takamizawa never tells a lie.
He exposes all of his foolishness and weakness before you.
That is because he wants you to trust him from the bottom of your heart.
Like Frédéric Bastiat’s words, “What is Seen and What is Not Seen,” please try to feel his unseen, desperate prayer existing behind the visible painting.
Just because you are standing right in front of him, he is truly, so happy it brings tears to his eyes.
Here, let me tell you one more wonderful story about a woman related to Van Gogh.
It is the story of Jo (Johanna van Gogh-Bonger), the wife of Van Gogh’s younger brother, Theo.
She was an incredibly intelligent, brilliant woman who changed the history of art worldwide.
Vincent van Gogh passed away, and just half a year later, as if following him, her husband Theo passed away as well.
Left behind, the young Jo had nothing in her hands but a young infant, a massive collection of Vincent’s paintings that were completely unrecognised by the world at the time, and the enormous volume of letters exchanged between the brothers.
An ordinary woman would have fallen into despair and been at a complete loss.
However, Jo was different. She was an avid reader and a woman of extremely high intellect.
She knew painfully well how much her husband, Theo, had loved his older brother Vincent and believed in his talent.
Jo said this:
“In addition to the child, Theo left me another mission──to have Vincent’s work seen by many people and to have its true value recognized.”
She spent nights reading through the letters left by the brothers.
And as she read the letters, she came to deeply sympathize with Vincent’s profound philosophy as a painter:
“I want to use paint to draw pictures that comfort wounded people.”
Jo swore to her heart that she would absolutely never let this magnificent art be buried in the darkness.
Her devotion from then on was nothing short of staking her entire life.
She negotiated with art dealers and exhibitions everywhere, never giving up even when treated coldly, keeping Van Gogh’s paintings in the public eye.
Furthermore, she organized that massive collection of letters and published them as a book.
If Vincent had not written down his thoughts in such detail within his letters, and if Jo had not brought them to the world, the painter Van Gogh would absolutely never be loved worldwide as he is today.
Good things do not spread simply by existing.
Someone must explain their appeal correctly and convey them with passion, otherwise, it becomes the same as not existing in the world at all, doesn’t it?
This life of Van Gogh and the life of Jesus Christ are very similar.
After Jesus Christ passed away, the Apostle Paul risked his life traveling to various places, writing letters, and continuing to convey Christ’s life and thought to the people, which is exactly why Christianity spread across the world.
The devotion of Theo and Jo toward Van Gogh was exactly the same as Paul’s devotion toward Christ.
Jo and Paul were, so to speak, the “world’s greatest communicators.”
In modern terms, they played the same role as Steve Jobs, who was the world’s best salesman; Akio Morita of Sony;
Takeo Fujisawa, who sold Honda’s Super Cub all over the world; and Shotaro Kamiya, the “God of Sales” who sold Toyota’s Corolla everywhere.
Akio Morita once left this famous quote:
“When a product that has never been produced before, which no one has ever seen, is painstakingly researched and manufactured at great effort in some corner, if you want to turn that product into a commodity, you must arouse the desire to possess it among the people. No matter how excellent a ‘product’ it may be, it cannot become a ‘commodity’ otherwise.”
No matter how good something is, if you do not make the effort to communicate it, it will reach no one.
Mimi Takamizawa is also continuing his desperate, gritty service just to communicate his prayer to you.
As stated in Sun Tzu’s Art of War, moving people’s hearts without fighting requires thorough preparation and a deep understanding of the other person.
Just as Clausewitz said, “War is the continuation of politics by other means,” art is also a “confession of love to you” by other means.
Like the “indirect approach strategy” proposed by B.H. Liddell Hart, rather than clashing head-on with logic, I want to softly slip into the deep recesses of your lonely heart through the detour of stories and beauty.
Thank you so very much for staying with me through this long, long story.
I love you very much.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to meet such a wonderful reader like you.
Please, keep yourself warm tonight and have a peaceful sleep.
Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.
(Henry Ford)
When I was young, I used to think that the greatest misfortune in life was not to be loved. Now I know otherwise. The greatest misfortune is not to love.
(Agatha Christie)
Take it to heart. Do not be afraid. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
(Moses)
We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
(William Shakespeare)
When the world is wrapped in darkness, one who lights a single flame is more precious than a thousand scholars.
(From the Jewish “Talmud”)
I love my weakness. I love my sadness.
(Osamu Dazai)
The key to happiness lies within one’s own heart. One must not rely on others to find it.
(Osamu Dazai)
To be alive. That, in itself, is a tremendous festival.
(Osamu Dazai)
Never give in. Never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense.
(Winston Churchill)
Have courage, be the first, and do something different from everyone else.
(Ray Kroc)
I am thought to have achieved success overnight, but that one night was thirty years. Thinking back, it was a long, long night.
(Ray Kroc)
All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.
(Walt Disney)
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.
(Leonardo da Vinci)