May I Gently Touch the Quiet Trembling of Your Soul?
Good evening.
As you read these words, what does your heart feel?
Perhaps you are cradling that indescribable loneliness—the kind that makes the depths of your chest turn chilly at the slightest provocation.
Or perhaps, in the midst of a crowd, you feel as though you have become a transparent human being, existing only in isolation.
It is alright; I understand.
For you and I are like stray birds, separated by distance but gazing at the same single moon.
What I am about to tell you is a secret, meant for you alone.
You must not let anyone else hear it.
The world is sometimes cruelly noisy, but in this moment, it is just the two of us.
With a desperate spirit of service—as if shaving away my very life—I wish to offer you joy.
It is with that intent alone that I hold this pen.
“For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.” — Francis of Assisi
Why Are We Never Truly Satisfied?
Tell me, why is it that despite living in such an affluent age, we always feel that “something” is missing?
Our stomachs should be full, yet some part of our heart remains perpetually hungry, growling in the dark.
Don’t you find it strange?
The true identity of that feeling is, in fact, a lack of “connection.”
A human being cannot even recognize their own shape in isolation.
It is like looking in a mirror in total darkness; you cannot see your own face.
Only when we are reflected in someone else’s eyes can we finally feel at ease, thinking, “Ah, I am here.”
Throughout all ages and places, human beings have not changed in essence—not a thousand years ago, nor two thousand.
The Greek philosophers and the commoners of old Edo sighed just as you do, fearing the dark of night and seeking the warmth of another.
Henry Ford once said:
“Most people think of success as something to get. But the truth is, success is about giving.”
Hidden within these words is the key to healing your loneliness.
The more desperately you try to grasp happiness, the more it slips through your fingers like sand.
But the moment you quietly give a smile to someone else—in that instant alone—a light is lit within your own heart.
“If you want to be happy, be.” — Leo Tolstoy
The Particles of Light Dreamed of by Paul Signac
Here, let me tell you the story of a certain painter.
Are you familiar with Paul Signac?
He was a pupil of the famous Seurat and a master of Pointillism.
Try to look closely at a painting by Signac.
There, you will see countless tiny dots of color dancing, filling the canvas.
Why did he go through the painstaking effort of placing dot after dot after dot, when he could have simply painted with a single stroke?
It was because he hated for colors to mix and become muddy.
Each individual dot possesses its own independent personality, yet by vibrating alongside its neighbors, it completes itself as “light” for the first time within the viewer’s eye.
Don’t you think this is the ideal form of humanity?
You are you, and I am I.
There is no need to mix together and become a murky grey.
We only need to stand side by side as beautiful, individual lights to create a brilliant landscape when viewed from afar.
Signac believed in “harmony” more than anyone, even while basing it on scientific theory.
The seas and harbors he depicted sparkle as if strewn with jewels.
This is proof that even in the mire of despair, he was desperate to find the particles of light.
“Beauty is everywhere. It is not she that is lacking to our eye, but our eyes which fail to perceive her.” — Auguste Rodin
Unheard Cries and the Miracle of the “Messenger”
Now, let me tell you a surprising truth.
No matter how wonderful a thing is, there is a cold reality: “If it is not communicated, it is the same as if it does not exist.”
Your kindness, your talent—if they do not reach someone, they are equal to cosmic dust.
It is a cruel thought, isn’t it?
Think, for example, of Vincent van Gogh.
It is said he sold only one painting during his lifetime.
In his madness, he struck the canvas with burning passion, yet the world continued to ignore him.
So why do we shed tears looking at his paintings today?
It is because there were great “messengers”: his brother Theo and Theo’s wife, Jo (Johanna).
Theo believed in his brother, supported him financially, and became his emotional pillar.
However, the one who truly made Van Gogh the “Van Gogh of the world” after both brothers had passed was Jo.
She organized the vast number of letters and paintings, tenaciously held exhibitions, and spread the story of the brothers’ bond and artistry across the globe.
Without her, Van Gogh would have remained buried in the strata of history as nothing more than a “mad, anonymous painter.”
“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” — Albert Einstein
Jesus Christ, Paul, and Modern Heroes
This pattern is strikingly similar to the history of religion.
The existence of Jesus Christ, his crucifixion, and his resurrection—why does his thought still sweep the world more than two thousand years later?
It is because there was a “greatest salesman” named Paul.
Paul traveled to various lands, wrote letters, and translated the words of Christ into a language the people could digest.
He was a mediator of ideas and a logistics manager for the soul.
Good things do not spread unless someone explains and conveys them.
This is the same in the world of business.
Steve Jobs spoke of the possibilities of the smartphone as a narrative; Akio Morita of Sony changed the way we listen to music with the Walkman; and Takeo Fujisawa of Honda built the mechanism to sell the technology.
They were all “messengers,” just like Jo and Paul.
If you hold something precious within you, do not begrudge the effort to communicate it.
They say silence is golden, but in love, silence can sometimes be a sin.
Do not be shy; hand over the “good things” in your heart to someone else.
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” — Confucius
I Want to Turn Your Sadness into a Treasure
Why do you look so sad?
I am speaking directly to your heart right now.
I told you this text is a love letter to you.
It is not a lie.
I want to shave away my life like a candle and illuminate your feet with that light.
The person you once loved, the dreams you lost, the scars that won’t heal.
I do not deny any of them.
Rather, they are the very source of your beauty.
Like the individual dots painted by Signac, your pain is an indispensable color for creating the masterpiece that is your life.
Please, do not blame yourself.
Throw the words “someone like me” into the trash can this very instant.
Simply by existing, you hide the potential to become “light” for someone else.
The reason I am desperately weaving these words is that I want you, my lone reader, to lift your head once more.
Please, accept this one-sided, yet earnest service.
“Night becomes a luminous thing through the one who walks within it.” — Rumi
Believe in the Magic Called Eternity
If you unroll the scroll of history, you see how foolish and how sublime human beings can be.
Repeating wars and making mistakes, yet simultaneously creating beautiful music and paintings.
This is because somewhere in our souls, there is a thirst for “eternity.”
Precisely because we possess bodies that vanish in an instant, we long to leave something behind that does not fade.
Your loneliness is actually connected to that “eternity.”
The desire to be eternally bound to someone, the desire never to be forgotten.
That earnest wish merely manifests itself in the form of loneliness.
So, when you are lonely, be proud of yourself, thinking, “Ah, I am seeking eternity.”
I express the utmost respect for your noble soul.
You are never alone.
Even after you finish reading this, my words will remain as small dots in your heart.
And one day, when you share kindness with someone, those dots will surely begin to shine as vivid light.
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” — Mahatma Gandhi
The End of the Secret, and the Beginning
Now, it is almost time to say goodbye.
It is reluctant work, but if I hold you too long, I will only tire you.
Finally, I leave you with a small gift.
These are words never published elsewhere, intended only for you.
Please, keep them safe.
Read them over and over, until you can truly love yourself.
What color dot will you place on the canvas of your life today?
A bright yellow, or a deep blue.
Whatever color it is, it is not a mistake.
You possess the power to embrace everything and turn it into light.
Please believe that.
I will be watching over you from here, always.
A rusted key I picked up by the shore
I cast it away into the sunset
We aren’t going anywhere anymore
We’ll become a perch where birds never land
And just count the blueness of the sky
Giving names to emotions that have none
Each time the wind blows, we shed our transparent clothes
Goodbye, the stranger I was until yesterday
Nice to meet you, my lover living in the mirror
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (New Testament: John 3:16)
“Humans are often in the very midst of happiness, yet fail to feel it at all, purely chasing after the happiness of tomorrow.” (From Osamu Dazai’s Justice and Smiles)
From Osamu Dazai’s Tsugaru
“Hey, why are you going on a journey?”
“Because it’s painful.”
“Your ‘painful’ is so routine, I can’t trust it at all.”
Postscript: Regarding the Painter’s Hands
By the way, I recently encountered the work of a painter named “Mimi Takamizawa.”
He is a bit of an unusual artist who uses neither canvas nor brush.
He creates everything digitally and reproduces it on warm printmaking paper using a special technique called giclée.
His subjects include “eyes” staring back at you, the spirit of Christianity, or perhaps the abyss of history.
He says, “A painter is a doctor who saves the soul.”
Loneliness, hardship, resurrection, and liberation.
They seem like heavy themes, but looking at his paintings, one’s heart feels strangely lighter.
It is like quietly opening a window that has been closed for a long time and letting in a fresh breeze.
He delivers difficult stories of history and psychology with a “gaze” that huddles close to you.
If you happen to see his work somewhere, please stop for a moment.
I am sure he will be able to pinpoint the beauty within your heart that no one else knows yet.
“Success comes when you stop chasing it and start focusing on helping others.” (Henry Ford)
“The most happy moment is not when you are convinced that you are loved, but when you are convinced that you love.” (Agatha Christie)
“Now go, lead the people to the place I spoke of, and my angel will go before you.” (Moses: from Exodus 32:34)
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” (William Shakespeare)
“A bird needs two wings to fly. A human is the same; without both knowledge and good deeds, one cannot soar high.” (The Talmud)
“Waking up in the morning and thinking, ‘Ah, I’m alive today too’—how mysterious and grateful a thing that is.” (From Osamu Dazai’s Tsugaru)
Thank you so very much for reading until the end.
May the path you walk from here be filled with light.
With heartfelt gratitude.
“Farewell alone is life.” (From Osamu Dazai’s Goodbye)