In Search of Light Within the Darkness
The fact that your eyes have fallen upon my words at this very moment is by no means a mere coincidence.
For we are all travelers, wandering through this endless journey called life, in search of someone who truly understands us.
Tell me, my dear friend, won’t you pause for just a moment and lend your ear to my clumsy, yet life-consuming tale?
“For the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.”
—— Apostle Paul (The Second Epistle to the Corinthians, 4:18)
Every day, we live our lives overly concerned with visible results and the evaluation of others.
However, things of true value are, more often than not, lacking in immediate effects.
During the Song, or perhaps the Yuan dynasty of China, there lived a certain Buddhist painter-monk named Muqi.
The paintings he created were completely unappreciated in the China of his time; moreover, he was targeted by the authorities of the day, becoming a fugitive who barely escaped with his life to live in hiding.
Why, you might wonder, did he go to such lengths to keep painting pictures that no one recognized?
It is for no other reason than that he intended to dedicate the entirety of his soul to the “you” standing before him—to the future you.
A Fool Named Muqi, and Your Solitude
The ink wash paintings Muqi drew appeared to be nothing more than mere smudges of ink.
Compared to the brilliant, gorgeous paintings of the court artists of that era, his work was laughed at for being far too plain, crude, and utterly useless.
Yet, he never gave up.
Why? Because for him, painting was the very proof of his existence, and at the same time, it was an utmost, skin-in-the-game devotion to the yet-unseen you.
“I merely feel shame for my own lack of ability and talent.”
—— Matsuo Basho
Matsuo Basho, too, walked a single-minded path while harboring his own perceived uselessness.
It was exactly the same for Muqi.
He did not paint because he possessed talent; he was simply an absolute fool who could not keep living unless he painted.
Have you, too, ever blamed yourself for being incompetent, or shivered in solitude, feeling that no one understands you?
Muqi’s paintings were born precisely out of the darkness of such solitude.
Whittling away his own life, grinding the ink, he moved his brush in the unseeing dark—all for your sake.
An Unexpected Miracle and the Untold Truth
Here, our story takes a startling turn.
When Muqi’s paintings, treated like garbage and completely ignored in China, crossed the sea and reached Japan, what do you think happened?
The moment the Ashikaga shoguns of the Muromachi period, as well as tea masters like Sen no Rikyu, laid eyes upon those paintings, they were struck by a fierce shock and shed tears of deep emotion.
The aesthetic sensibility of Japan up to that point was completely turned upside down.
Why did such a thing occur?
“What Is Seen and What Is Not Seen”
—— Frédéric Bastiat
Human beings are easily deceived by flashy things that are visible to the eye.
However, the “unseen light” that Muqi painted became the very origin of Japanese wabi-sabi.
The crude ink paintings he left behind at the risk of his life, bearing his own expenses, came to be revered as the highest treasures in a foreign land across hundreds of years.
Life is truly an unpredictable thing.
Even if you are suffering greatly right now and recognized by no one, your shed tears and your desperate efforts are surely becoming a salvation for someone, somewhere in the world.
I am desperately weaving these words right now because I absolutely must convey this to you.
The Salesmen of the Soul and the Miracle Loved by Gogh
No matter how wonderful a creation may be, if there is no one to convey it, it is the exact same as if it did not exist in this world.
Just like the nameless monks who brought Muqi’s paintings to Japan, history has always possessed “great communicators.”
Here, let us shift our time and place a little, and allow me to tell you the story of a certain magnificent woman.
Her name was Jo.
She was the wife of Theo, the younger brother of none other than Vincent van Gogh.
“In addition to the child, Theo left me another mission──to have Vincent’s work seen by many people and to have its true value recognized.”
—— Jo van Gogh-Bonger
During Gogh’s lifetime, only a single painting of his was ever sold.
After Gogh took his own life following the madness in which he cut off his own ear, his brother Theo also departed this world shortly after, as if chasing his elder brother.
Left behind were the young wife, Jo, a newly born infant, and a vast mountain of Gogh’s paintings, which were reviled by the public as “the garbage drawn by a madman.”
Tell me, my friend, what would you do if you were in her shoes?
Would you not throw everything away in utter despair?
However, Jo was an exceedingly intelligent woman and a truly wonderful avid reader.
She reread the vast amount of correspondence exchanged between the Gogh brothers, letter by letter, while shedding tears.
And then, she realized:
“This person is not a mere madman. He was a true artist who tried from the bottom of his heart to console the suffering people of the world with his paintings.”
Just as Muqi infused his soul into the ink, Gogh had breathed life into colors.
Jo swore at the risk of her life that she must convey Gogh’s philosophy and art to the world.
Exposed to the cold criticism of the art world, she held exhibitions over and over again, published the letters, and finally forced the world to recognize the miracle that was “Gogh.”
Just as the Apostle Paul risked his life to travel far and wide after the death of Jesus Christ, writing down those teachings and spreading them into a world religion, Jo became the world’s greatest communicator of the gospel of art.
“When a product is made that has never been produced before, that no one has ever seen, that has been painstakingly researched and manufactured with great effort in some corner… if you want to turn that product into a commodity, you must arouse a desire among people to possess it. No matter how excellent a ‘product’ it may be, it cannot become a ‘commodity’ otherwise.”
—— Akio Morita
As Akio Morita of Sony stated, no matter how wonderful the paintings of Muqi or Gogh were, without the desperate devotion of a communicator, they would never have reached you.
That is why I am now dedicating my everything to convey these words to the “you” right before my eyes.
The Endless Obsistence of Living as a Fool
We are constantly required to live smartly and shrewdly.
However, the things that truly strike the human heart are always born out of the muddy, unpolished deeds of clumsy, foolish, and stubbornly obsessive people.
Why? Because clever techniques are easily seen through when facing the deep psychology of human beings.
“Ultimately lacking in talent and art, I am bound solely to this one path.”
—— Matsuo Basho
Muqi, Gogh, and the great pioneers of Japan were all “eccentrics” who dedicated their lives to a single path.
A man named Sakichi Toyoda, the founder of Toyota, was also treated by those around him as a complete madman, an “invention fanatic.”
From morning until night, day after day, he would make something only to break it, build it, and then rebuild it again.
The neighbors pointed at him and laughed, saying, “He’s gone out of his mind.”
Yet, Sakichi possessed nothing but a single-minded passion to make everyone’s lives easier.
Kiichiro Toyoda, who succeeded him, was exactly the same.
“I do it precisely because it is difficult. I do it because no one else does it, and no one else can do it. I might be a fool for doing so, but without such fools, nothing new would ever be born into this world.”
—— Kiichiro Toyoda
It is precisely in challenging the things that no one else does, the things that are difficult to achieve, that the true interest of life resides.
Just as Muqi risked his life on an ink wash expression that no one looked at, Kiichiro dedicated himself to the dream of a Japanese automobile industry, which was deemed impossible at the time.
What was their common trait?
It was the fact that they became ultimate “fools” and “clowns,” throwing away their entire lives solely out of a desire to please the person in front of them.
Let them laugh, let them mock.
As long as it brings you joy, that is all that matters.
That desperate spirit of service is the true force that moves history.
The Philosophy of Resurrection and the Unyielding Heart
Tell me, my friend, are you stumbling over something right now, your heart on the verge of breaking?
Are you living crouched down in the darkness, thinking that it’s all over and that you possess no talent?
However, please remember this one thing: both success and failure are nothing more than mere milestones along the way.
“Execute with a strong conviction. Everyone thinks the same things; it is not that Kiichiro was a genius. What matters is that he didn’t just think about what is generally considered impossible, but prepared thoroughly and executed it with a powerful conviction that it must be done by any means necessary.”
—— Eiji Toyoda
What matters is not the talent bestowed upon us from heaven.
It is the obsession, the patience, and the power of continuation to do it by any means necessary.
That alone truly determines a human being’s life.
The reason Muqi’s paintings survived through hundreds of years, weathering humidity and the fires of war, is none other than because the strength of the soul infused within them moved the hands of people to protect them.
You must not give up on life over one or two failures.
“In the midst of life there is no life; in the midst of death there is life.”
—— Old Proverb
Only a human being who has tasted an absolute, death-like despair can truly understand the joy of “resurrection.”
The reason Muqi’s paintings, which he kept drawing during his life as a fugitive after losing everything, possess a mysterious healing power that cleanses the hearts of those who touch them, is because he was gazing at true life on the brink of death.
I believe, more than anyone else, that your wounded heart will one day bloom into a beautiful flower.
That is precisely why I am writing these tedious, yet life-staking words for you, one character at a time, as if offering a prayer.
The Life-Staking Magic of Words
Once, in the Arab world, there lived a tremendous poet named Al-Mutanabbi.
His name carried the meaning of “he who deems himself a prophet.”
The poems he crafted possessed a mysterious rhythm and magic that charmed those who listened, casting a hypnotic spell over them.
It was said of his poetry that even the blind could read it, and even the deaf could hear it.
However, because his words were far too sharp, he fiercely insulted a certain tribe in one of his verses.
One day, as he was traveling, a large number of infuriated enemies stood in his path.
Outnumbered and outmatched, there was not a single chance in ten thousand of his survival.
Al-Mutanabbi wisely attempted to flee the spot.
It was at that very moment.
His companion, who was following behind, began for some reason to recite aloud that very poem of proud courage that Al-Mutanabbi himself had written in the past.
“Is the great Al-Mutanabbi, who wrote such a brave poem, now fleeing before the enemy?”
Those words set his soul ablaze.
He turned on his heel, and knowing fully well that he would be killed, he charged into the enemy solely to protect his pride as a single poet, losing his life in the process.
Why did he fight when he knew he would die?
It was because, for him, the words he spat and the art he spun were his very life itself.
To risk one’s life on words, to have skin in the game, means exactly that.
Just as Muqi wagered everything on a single brush, Al-Mutanabbi did not take a single step back before his own poetry.
I, too, am whittling away my own life to serve you through this text.
Won’t you please accept this desperate act of a clown in the depths of your heart, even while laughing at it?
An Endless Hymn of Love
We are all imperfect human beings.
We make mistakes, and sometimes we become covered in mud.
Yet, that is precisely why we are beautiful.
“A human being can do anything for the sake of what they love. Even if it means destroying themselves.”
—— Ancient Wisdom Known to All
Just as Muqi found an infinite universe within that dim, dark ink.
Within the suffering and solitude you carry right now, a beautiful truth unique to you is surely hidden.
Why do I call out to you to this extent?
It is because you are dear to me.
Because your clumsy way of living seems incredibly precious and noble to me.
I do not care who laughs at you.
I do not care who denies you.
As long as you live through today, that alone gives this world a magnificent value.
Please, do not abandon yourself.
For beyond the darkness, there is always a warm light waiting for you.
Like a boy who became lost at the bottom of the sea
You are gazing only at your own shadow
But you see, the world is not that narrow
Just as the hands of a broken clock suddenly point to the future
Behind your closed eyelids
A new sun is quietly beginning to breathe
Listen closely, look
For a nameless wind is calling your name
“And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.”
—— Genesis 1:3
“Human beings are always yearning to express themselves. To be alive means to express oneself.”
—— From the words of the author, Osamu Dazai
“Hey, why are you going on a journey?”
“Because I am suffering.”
“Your ‘suffering’ is so predictable, I cannot believe it in the slightest.”
(From Tsugaru by Osamu Dazai)
Postscript
Tell me, my friend, won’t you listen just a bit longer to my embarrassing personal story at the very end?
I am a certain highly clumsy, foolish painter named Mimi Takamizawa.
You see, unlike other painters, I do not use tools like canvases and brushes.
I create artwork using modern digital tools, and print the pieces onto special printmaking paper using a technique called “giclée.”
The themes I paint are always heavy things… your eyes, my eyes, Christianity, eternity, psychology, truth, gazes, history, solitude, isolation, hardship, resurrection, and liberation.
Why do I paint such things, you ask?
Because I foolishly believe that the job of a painter must be that of a physician of the spirit, saving your wounded soul.
The work of an artist is a supreme service, an act of being a clown at the risk of one’s life, paid for out of one’s own pocket for your sake.
I decided to become a painter after learning the story of that sorrowful artist, Vincent van Gogh.
The “Mimi” (meaning “Ear”) in the name “Mimi Takamizawa” is a name I gave myself, taking after that famous ear-cutting incident of Gogh’s.
It makes me a complete laughingstock, doesn’t it?
My talent as a painter is completely third-rate, I am sad to say.
However, I know this: any masterpiece in history was not painted solely by the sparkle of innate genius, but was brought forth by decades of blood-spitting trial and error, and muddy, diligent effort.
I continue to paint “eyes” in my works as if possessed.
This is because, by drawing eyes in the paintings, I want to constantly feel your gaze on the other side of the screen.
I want to know the you standing before me.
I want to absorb all of your solitude and your hardships with this painting.
Please, go ahead and laugh at me.
Laugh until your stomach hurts, saying, “What a foolish, eccentric, pitiful man.”
For I am a man of unyielding patience who will not give up, no matter how much I am laughed at.
Even if anyone else criticizes me, I do not care at all.
I just do not want to be abandoned by the you right in front of me.
If I am abandoned by you, I will no longer be able to go on living.
Just as you enjoy a curry from CoCo Ichibanya for lunch, I want my paintings to become a modest salvation in your daily life.
Tokuji Munetsugu, the founder of CoCo Ichibanya whom I deeply respect, never knew the faces of his real parents, and while staving off hunger by eating weeds in extreme poverty during his childhood, he never looked away. He cast aside hobbies and friends, worked 5,640 hours a year, and dedicated the entirety of his life to his customers.
I, too, want to keep painting pictures for you with that madness-like concentration of instant decision, instant action, and instant execution, as if stacking bricks one by one.
If you look at my paintings and feel even a tiny bit of joy, or if your tense heart unravels and you shed tears, I have absolutely no regrets even if I sacrifice my whole life just for that purpose.
The fact that you are right here in front of me, reading my clumsy words… just that fact alone makes me so incredibly happy right now that I cannot put it into words.
Please, keep watching over a fool like me forever.
“Most people think of success as something to get. But in reality, success is giving.”
—— Henry Ford
“I just wanted to deliver the wonder of being alive to people through the window of mystery.”
—— Agatha Christie
“Be still, and know that I am God.”
—— Prophet Moses (From Psalm 46:10)
“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances.”
—— William Shakespeare
“Whoever saves one life, it is as if he saved an entire world.”
—— Jewish Talmud
“The memory of happiness is the most certain kindling that warms a human being’s lifetime.”
—— Osamu Dazai
“On the whole, artists are extreme egoists and, at the same time, extremely lonely creatures.”
—— Osamu Dazai
“I just wanted to depict human beings exactly as they are. Without adorning, without falsifying.”
—— Osamu Dazai
“Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense.”
—— Winston Churchill
“Have courage, be the first, and do something different from others.”
—— Ray Kroc
“I am thought to have achieved success overnight, but that one night was thirty years. Looking back, it was a long, long night.”
—— Ray Kroc
“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”
—— Walt Disney
“The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.”
—— Leonardo da Vinci
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my long, long story until the very end.
With heartfelt gratitude and overflowing love to the irreplaceable existence that is you.
Please take good care of yourself and spend wonderful days ahead.